10 Valuable Lessons I Learned in my Twenties

adminOctober 15, 2018

  1. You know that girl over there that has her hair perfectly in place, no food stains on her clothes, flawless skin, and seemingly talking to her model of a fiancé that has her s**t together? It’s an illusion. You don’t know what that person is going through and to be honest, no one has it together. There are times when I think I have it figured out then life has a really funny way of slapping you in the face saying *time to shake things up, bitch*. Don’t worry about anyone else but you
  2. Be yourself. When I was in high school / college, I had a best friend that was practically my sister + roommate, and over time we grew apart while still living together.  I had dedicated so much of my time, energy, and love to her that when the friendship dissipated, I felt like I had nothing and had to rebuild…as a junior in college (not to mention we still lived together). I don’t regret that friendship and learned a lot from the process, but I mostly two things – a. family is most important, and always put them first and b. after that happened, I was so scared of losing another friend that I people pleased my way through relationships. I was always walking on eggshells, my anxiety flew through the roof, and I was always going the extra mile to be the best friend I could and I think some people took advantage of that. Looking back, I would have approached it differently and had the mentality that my friends will be my friends no matter if I agree or disagree with them.
  3. Travel. Travel, travel, travel. You always hear this and at times you’re trying to save money (which is so important, see next point) that you lose out on certain things. Buy the $100 flight somewhere, stay in a cheap hotel, go to the festival, crash on a sofa. When I think back to my earlier twenties, some of my best memories were trips to see one of my best friends that lived in different states, road trips with my roommates, or family vacations.
  4. Save. Some. Money. Even if it is a small amount every month, get in the habit of saving or investing something. Your company has a 401K match? Great, max that out. Take advantage of the things that people are giving to you, but don’t’ get greedy. You don’t want to wake up, be 40 with two kids and realize that retirement is something you’re just starting to think about, because it won’t happen until you’re 75 if you wait that long…hello Wal-Mart greeter vest.
  5. IDGAF. This is probably one of my most valuable and coveted lessons. I was raised in a household where women were strong AF and truth be told “mama didn’t raise no bitch.” Somewhere along the way, I lost that. Finding it has been one of the best things that could have ever happened to me and to be honest, I’m almost shameless when it comes to strangers. I will embarrass myself or go out of my way to be silly if I can make my friend, mom, boyfriend, aunt, dad laugh. It’s a work in progress, but I am getting to the point where I truly do not care what people think about me, and it’s the best, most freeing feeling you could ever experience.
  6. Time is precious, choose wisely. You know the saying “the days are long but the years are short?” Well, it’s so true, especially when you have a full time job. You get up, go to work, get off of work, and by 7 you want to go to bed some days. You’ll wake up January 1st with a New Year’s resolution, blink, and then it’s October and you’re wondering where TF the time went. Pick who you spend it with wisely.
  7. Live by yourself. Ever since I was little, I always needed to be with people. One playdate would be ending and I was already scheduling the next one with minimum time alone. When I moved to Dallas from Houston, I knew practically no one and also decided I was going to live by myself. That was the best and worst decision ever. It was hard for a bit because making new friends is easier when you have a PIC, but it forced me to be more outgoing (as if that was possible). My s**t was my s**t, oh there’s a dish in the sink? No one to blame but yourself. In a way, it forced me to grow up and hold myself accountable because if I wasn’t going to do it, no one was.
  8. Break your comfort zones. I hate when people say in a mocking manner “do it for the graaaammmm” because in reality, whether it’s Instagram, an impression, adrenaline rush, etc. it’s getting you out of your comfort zone. There are so many times where I’ve been out or on vacation where I think “that would be a cool pic”, and I walk to the end of a log over the water or sit on a stranger’s porch and juggle pumpkins. Regardless of how you got there, you got there and it’s important to remember it’s okay to be uncomfortable.
  9. Date some losers, but always date yourself. I was a serial monogamist FOREVER and became dependent on my boyfriends. Can you hang this, can you help me with this, the list goes on and on. I always knew I would be fine on my own but didn’t truly realize it until a few years ago. I was dating for fun and had opportunities to be exclusive with some guys, but ended up saying no because it didn’t feel right. I wasn’t just dating out of convenience anymore, and I was completely okay. I didn’t need someone to do things for me because I either learned to do them on my own (I have become quite handy) or hire someone to do it for me. I realized how being alone wasn’t just okay, it was necessary. Friday night and no plans? Cool, I’m going to stay in and watch RHOBH reruns because that’s what I actually wanted to do. Once I had this realization, I started looking at the world a lot differently and it ultimately made me stronger.
  10. I started this blog, not knowing wtf I was doing. I still have no idea. All I know is that it is something I am passionate about and I said f**k it to what people would think of me, how it would look, judgements, stigmas. Whatever you wake up thinking about or what drives you, have the balls to do it. I had this conversation with my brother the other day and he mentioned he wanted to move, and I asked him what was stopping him? He responded “fear of the unknown.” Well, take it from someone who has plunged into the ocean of the unknown…I swear, you’ll make it. If I can survive, so can you. I promise.

 

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